How does one feel when one has nothing to say at a condolence meeting of a not-so-good friend who has been brutally murdered? Something like that happened with me today. Even though I wanted to say that I feel more sorry for my friend's parents than for her, I somehow, could not muster up the courage to say that.
When I first read about her murder in the newspaper, shock was the first expression, followed by anger and finally regret and sympathy, for the poor parents. Who could've imagined her to pass away like this, let alone be killed, and that too by the same person she trusted her life with.
I could not have done anything. It is such an easy statement to make. But why do I feel that somewhere I am responsible for this. She wasn't my good friend, but she still was a friend. That bothers me, for I always thought you have to be somehow connected with the person so as to feel for him/her. But in this case, when we barely said a word to each other in weeks, why do I feel the connection?
She wasn't a visible part of my daily life,but nonetheless, she existed for me. If she was around me, I always acknowledged her presence.Now that she's not there, I wonder how should I remember her. The only mistake she committed was to place her trust in the wrong person,and it costed her her life. But hasn't everyone of us experienced this at some point in our lives, trusting the wrong person? Then should i be angry at her, or should I feel sorry for her, for she was a victim of her emotions?
Why did she pay such a heavy price for committing such a common mistake? I wish I had the answer...
